Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
