Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
