we're blogging at a bar
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
