she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
