ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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