Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
