i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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