How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
