I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
