two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize