I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
