there's paper in my vomit.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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