Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
