who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
