Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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