Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I touched a dick in church today
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
