So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize