She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
