My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
