I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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