I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
