Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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