i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
you never un-have a 4some
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
