Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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