Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I need a hoe opinion
go on
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
