I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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