I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
