You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You made out with two different species that night
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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