no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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