so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
