turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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