pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
