But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
