I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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