i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
