do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
