windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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