If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
