whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How does one acquire holy water?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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