What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
