Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
