I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
