end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
