It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize