Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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