nut hugger
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
