Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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