He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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