It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You are a genius and a whore.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
