i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
