she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
