Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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