what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize