dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
