I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
