I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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