I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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