I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i think i just lost a toe
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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