I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
