is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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