Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
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BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
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And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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