Christians are straight up FREAKS
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
