Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
