You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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