dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
