i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
